Magic

Sorry, Dad — I bent the spoon.

This confession’s forty years late. All those years you wondered where the silverware was going, it was me.

I spent most of my childhood trying to wake dormant superpowers. Summoning spirits seemed easy with two sisters when you’re all afraid of the dark. But bending things with your mind was more labor intensive. I’d sit on the floor, lotus position, for hours concentrating on a spoon because everyone knows that’s where you start, only to fail. I was honestly surprised. My dad always said I could accomplish anything I set my mind to, and he was usually right. Why couldn’t I do this?

One day I’d had enough. Red-faced and fuming, I used all the strength in my seven-year-old noodle arms to bend it all the way back. Cheating, yes, but it was bent.

Maybe telekinesis just wasn’t my thing, I thought, as I stood on the edge of the roof with a fistful of feathers in each hand. I could accept that failure, but someday I would fly. So you can imagine how many times I plummeted to the ground like a rock. Every single time. Not even a little lift, no matter how hard I flapped.

Still, I never doubted myself. I just knew I needed a better plan. My process improved: cardboard, Styrofoam, shoes for when I failed, and eventually, airline miles. You’re probably not surprised airline miles were what finally did the trick.

Regardless, once again I could do it. I really could fly. Not in the way I thought. Not in the you’re special you don’t need a plane because you have extraordinary gifts kind of way—and you can say that doesn’t count if you like—but perhaps learning that I was just a normal, everyday, nothing-special kind of girl who would have to actually work hard to get what she wanted in life was the real gift anyway.

Here’s to Shel, who said it first and said it better

Magic

by Shel Silverstein

Sandra’s seen a leprechaun,

Eddie touched a troll,

Laurie danced with witches once,

Charlie found some goblins’ gold.

Donald heard a mermaid sing,

Susie spied an elf,

But all the magic I have known

I’ve had to make myself.

*Also-standing firmly beside the em dash-fight me.